Dearly beloved we are gathered…. Have you been smiling at me?
Posted on August 30, 2007
I was finishing up a study on child training (Thursday night Bible study) and it hit me real clear and fine like a bult of understanding… I had something wedged between me and my relationship with God. It was fuzzy and sticky, I didn’t want to give it up - I didn’t think I could. Well, we talked it out (God and me) on the way home. I asked “God, what is this thing that you are trying to tell me? What is wrong in my life, tell me so that I can repent and be restored in fellowship with you.” as we talked, and I listened asking for understanding, it finally got through to me. It was one thing, one little thing - well a big little thing. I’ve tried to give God everything to do with relationships and hopes for marriage, but there was one thing I was holding back in. I just wouldn’t resign from it, I didn’t understand how. So when I asked God to condemn the thing that was holding us apart, I was really surprised to find how little it was. Just one place in my heart that I had created for a certain fellow, one little bit of hope that he was the one - but God didn’t want any of it. I claimed all along that my relationships were his, but how could I hold one back? Not only that, but why were there things that I couldn’t bring up with my Father concerning my feelings? Well, I repented and the Lord lifted it. Now, my resolve is “I am resigned” and I was able to talk it over with my Father, who gave me some wisdom and shared his desires for me to marry a godly man, affirming his belief that it would be obvious when the time is right and the man is right. “God will show you! You will know!” So, now I am not dreaming about wedding bells, even to the extent that I may not get married at all. It’s up to the Lord, and my desire is to fulfill His calling for my life.
I’m pretty happy lately, packing and arranging our trip has been fun. I like working on details with a time crunch, it just makes excitement. Heh, I think maybe I like a well planned trip just as well though. It’s going to be fun, and I’ll be back to work in a couple of weeks to smile at all the customers…
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